Our first day in the hospital with Adele went really well. She was sleepy, the nurses were great, and we were running on adrenaline. We just can’t believe how perfect she is.
Before we went to bed, Irving gave me a push present. We joked about this concept a few months back, but I really didn’t expect or want anything. But he gave me a Kindle Fire to help with those late night feedings. =) Such a great gift and it was so sweet and thoughtful. Thank you, darling!
Day two in the hospital also went well during the day. She was enjoying warm swaddles, baths and cuddles.
We just enjoyed soaking her in every way we could.
We were so glad that two of our friends came to visit in the hospital. Janet and Erica came armed with goodies and love. We were so excited to introduce them to Adele.
Even at 1 day old, she has so many facial expressions.
I can’t believe this is my family now. Somebody pinch me. How awesome is this!
As awesome as the day was, the second night in the hospital was really really difficult and I wanted to share a little bit about our experience. We’d already been up for almost two days at this point. And on top of that, I birthed a baby! My body was sore, we didn’t know what we were doing, and we had a crying baby that we couldn’t seem to console. There were lots of “I’m not ready for this” thoughts, lots of second guessing and tears. Lots of tears.
Adele was latching on fine, but since we were both learning how everything works, it was frustrating for both of us. The only way she would calm down would be if she was tightly swaddled. The nurses are swaddle pros, but we just couldn’t get the hang of it at first. As each hour ticked by without sleep, I got more and more emotional. The nurses were great, but it just wasn’t enough. We finally got a couple of hours of sleep in the early morning, but I would definitely consider that night one of the worst in my life. I’d never felt so depressed, sad, helpless and overwhelmed. I wanted to share this because I feel like no one really prepared me for this side of it.
We took our time being discharged from the hospital. We stayed two nights after Adele was born and that extra night was SO important. I can’t imagine having gone through that alone in my house with no support from the nurses. I felt better after getting dressed and speaking with a few lactation consultants. Around 3pm, we were ready to bring Adele home.
I have to admit I was scared out of my mind to do this on my own. I really felt unsure of myself as a mother. I was in a fragile state, but we knew we could do this together.
When we got home, we introduced Adele to her new home and showed her around.
Those little hands are always up near her face, and the only way to make her sleep is to swaddle them down by her sides.
We tried many, many, many times to get the swaddle to stay put.
But she’s proving to be quite the little Houdini.
The first night at home was easier than the night before, but still fairly difficult. The only way we could mentally handle it was to take shifts. So Irving went and got us dinner and we figured out a routine that work for us. I was able to sleep from 5-6:30p, 8-11p, 2-3:30a and 5-6:30a. It was enough sleep to function, but not enough to really help my healing body, mind and spirit. It was tough. In fact this whole week was difficult for me. I definitely feel the baby blues and I’m doing my best to avoid depression. I went to two support groups this week, called multiple friends, and tried to find answers online. It is helping for sure.
Nothing in the world can prepare you for that first week after having a baby. The highs are high…. and the lows are low. I’ve never felt anything like this before and it’s knocked me off my feet. Every day gets better and better. We are so lucky to have such an easy-going baby. She rarely cries, she eats well… and she gives us lots of love. So much love.
Now a week later, my only complaint is the nighttime nausea. My doctor said it’s from the hormones, but it’s nearly impossible to eat anything after 5pm or so. When this happens, I find my emotions tank at the same time. I miss my family. I miss my body. I miss my sleep. As I write this now, I’m in that slump, but I know when morning comes, it all resets and we move forward. Our little girl is already 1 week old!! Amazing. What an experience.
Thank you for being so real about your experience and feelings. I can’t even fathom going through what you are right now, when I can barely handle my PMS. lol. I’m always here for you lady, I’m only a short drive away.
Oh Kel… I love your honesty. You are such an amazing woman, wife, mama! Keep reminding yourself that everything you’re going through is 100% perfectly normal. And that every day that passes — whether a good or bad one — things should be getting easier and easier. The best thing you can do for yourself and your family is continue to be upfront (with Irving, your docs etc) about how you are feeling and what you need. And please, please, please call/Skype me anytime!!
You have such a beautiful family! Congratulations!
I am so impressed and proud (?) of your honesty right out of the gate. Many women, myself included bottle that up for awhile. I have seen and talked to so many women through my non-profit with all sorts of forms of “adjustment” anxiety, depression, ocd, psychois, and ptsd. I’m here if you need anything, even just someone to talk to. I also have some resource sheets if you are interested. The doctors and stuff won’t help you, but a lot of great books and websites in there if I do say so myself.
I also, am part of a much larger network of volunteer state coordinators and I know there is a lot of things in socal that are there to help you. Just let me know what you need.
You are NOT alone.
You are NOT to blame.
With help, you will be well
I am sorry you are going through this rough time but many do.
My little story even though my kid is now 20 years old.
I gave birth and came home within 24 hours. I ended up on my own. I had no support. Her dad and my mom were supposed to help but neither did, due to scheduling issues. Then I went back to work after 11 days. It was all the vacation time I had and I at the time was DIRT poor.
I got so depressed. PPD hit me hard. I finally decided I would take my baby up to his moms (I said I was working) and go home and sleep. After a week I was still so grouchy, emotional and depressed. That little baby would let out a huge wail and the only thing that helped was walking her. I lost all my weight in those 11 days. We would walk for MILES! I think I was sleeping as I walked.
My mom said, hey we know what to do, but nothing worked. Finally one day she went to bed at 10pm and woke up the NEXT day at 4pm. I was freaking out cause I was sleeping too but she did that for months, doc said she was growing 🙂
I think having a 3rd person to watch the baby helped cause I could sleep and so could her dad.
It will and does get better. I am sure you will figure out how to care for your baby and the little tricks that work like a charm in no time.
Sleep lots and tend to yourself!!
Oh kelley hugs to you!!! Having a baby sure messes up your hormones. Being sleep deprived doesn’t help either. What your feeling is normal. I remember feeling scared and oh so not sure I could do it (even after my 2nd and 3rd!) it will all go away by your 6 week appointment. 🙂 hang in there. Your doing the right thing by reaching out and talking to friends, family and support groups! Adele is absolutely beautiful. Just take it one step at a time. Sleep when she sleeps! Don’t worry about housework or anything. Most important is for you both to rest and love that baby girl. 🙂
I am here for you anytime you need, my friend.
Honestly, I can’t even fathom having a tiny baby to take care of. I can only imagine some of the emotions tied in with giving birth. It’s life-changing and daunting! I’m glad you wrote about your experience because it’s real and honest. I think other mom’s-to-be and people like me (who want kids eventually) need to read about real experiences and emotions.
And swaddling is tough! I tried helping my mom with Daniel when I was 17 and I was so frustrated!
Anyway, I want to send my love and support. Always here for you and cheering you on!
thanks so much for sharing your story, and being so honest. i am constantly checking to see if there are more posts. i am wishing you all the very best and can’t wait to share stories. went in for an ultrasound today, baby is in the right position but hasn’t dropped. i am guessing she might come a bit late, we’ll see. 10 days left…i am right behind you. I can’t tell you how comforting it is to know you are leading the way 🙂
lots of love!
Hang in there, you’re doing great. I have totally witnessed those first days from other new moms, and yeah, it seems like your body is winding down from an amazing experience and the adjustment isn’t easy! I’ll say it again: you’re doing great.
Thanks do sharing your story. We live away from our family too and our expecting our first in Sept. Its refreshing to read an honest portrayal of a newborn. Congrats! She’s beautiful.
Congrats on making it thru your 1st week. It’s hard and I had some tough times as well. I’m emailing you 🙂
Awe Kel it will get so so much better. Your body will adjust to the no sleep. I never believed it before but even now when Sophie decides she’s wide awake at 4am, it isn’t too bad. And it will get so so much easier. Those feelings will go away at least 90% and you’ll feel like you again soon. I promise 🙂
Oh Kelley, those hormones are a total BITCH. And even without the hormones, bringing a new baby home is really scary sometimes. When my boys came home from the NICU (9 weeks old, so no more crazy hormones for me), I was so nervous the first morning, I threw up. And when my mom left a few weeks later, I threw up again because I was alone with them.
I’m sure everyone has told you this, but you get into a routine and it all becomes a bit more manageable and normal. Take her for walks if you can, that helps me more than anything else.
I can totally identify with how you are feeling. I went into depression after Laura was born. I made a trip to Walmart just a few days after she was born, and I didn’t want to go back home. That’s when I knew I was in trouble. I am home all day today. If you want to talk, please feel free to call me. I think you still have my number. Like you, no one prepared me for what to expect after. One thing that I noticed with both of my kids was they liked to be warm. I dressed them essentially for winter (long sleeves, long pants, hat) and they were happier. If you think about it, they went from 98° to 75° or so. That is quite the change! Like I said, I am home if you want to talk. You will do great. It does get better. I promise!
Irving said it’s about 6 weeks for you (your body) to recover after giving birth. So pregnancy is more like 10.5 months rather than 9, and it sounds like there should be just as much information available on what to expect after expecting is over and not just ‘you have a baby now, switch to the baby raising books’. You are finding your way slowly but surely and you live in such a great area for finding just what you need to help. Your parents will be there soon – definitely something to look forward to! You and Irving = awesome parents! I have zero experience with any of this but you have wonderful close friends who will help, I’m sure. We love you and miss you and can’t wait to see our great-niece!