Before we went to bed, Irving gave me a push present. We joked about this concept a few months back, but I really didn’t expect or want anything. But he gave me a Kindle Fire to help with those late night feedings. =) Such a great gift and it was so sweet and thoughtful. Thank you, darling!
As awesome as the day was, the second night in the hospital was really really difficult and I wanted to share a little bit about our experience. We’d already been up for almost two days at this point. And on top of that, I birthed a baby! My body was sore, we didn’t know what we were doing, and we had a crying baby that we couldn’t seem to console. There were lots of “I’m not ready for this” thoughts, lots of second guessing and tears. Lots of tears.
Adele was latching on fine, but since we were both learning how everything works, it was frustrating for both of us. The only way she would calm down would be if she was tightly swaddled. The nurses are swaddle pros, but we just couldn’t get the hang of it at first. As each hour ticked by without sleep, I got more and more emotional. The nurses were great, but it just wasn’t enough. We finally got a couple of hours of sleep in the early morning, but I would definitely consider that night one of the worst in my life. I’d never felt so depressed, sad, helpless and overwhelmed. I wanted to share this because I feel like no one really prepared me for this side of it.
We took our time being discharged from the hospital. We stayed two nights after Adele was born and that extra night was SO important. I can’t imagine having gone through that alone in my house with no support from the nurses. I felt better after getting dressed and speaking with a few lactation consultants. Around 3pm, we were ready to bring Adele home.
The first night at home was easier than the night before, but still fairly difficult. The only way we could mentally handle it was to take shifts. So Irving went and got us dinner and we figured out a routine that work for us. I was able to sleep from 5-6:30p, 8-11p, 2-3:30a and 5-6:30a. It was enough sleep to function, but not enough to really help my healing body, mind and spirit. It was tough. In fact this whole week was difficult for me. I definitely feel the baby blues and I’m doing my best to avoid depression. I went to two support groups this week, called multiple friends, and tried to find answers online. It is helping for sure.
Nothing in the world can prepare you for that first week after having a baby. The highs are high…. and the lows are low. I’ve never felt anything like this before and it’s knocked me off my feet. Every day gets better and better. We are so lucky to have such an easy-going baby. She rarely cries, she eats well… and she gives us lots of love. So much love.
Now a week later, my only complaint is the nighttime nausea. My doctor said it’s from the hormones, but it’s nearly impossible to eat anything after 5pm or so. When this happens, I find my emotions tank at the same time. I miss my family. I miss my body. I miss my sleep. As I write this now, I’m in that slump, but I know when morning comes, it all resets and we move forward. Our little girl is already 1 week old!! Amazing. What an experience.